It had been a peculiar day and I was confused with all the unfamiliar sensations that keep coming into my spirit. I was setting on the back porch swing with my one leg hanging down so I could keep moving. I was starring into the nothingness of something I could not explain. Even the air moving across my skin seemed to be saturated with a confused energy going from warm to cool and back again. I must have been deep into the consideration of it all when my Great Grandmother walked out from the kitchen. “You all right Little One, or did someone walk across your grave?” Just then I could hear thunder rolling up from the valley across the hilltops. First soft and gentle, then louder like it was gaining power as it moved along.
My Great Grandmother sat down with me on the swing and smiled as if she knew every deep thought I was having. “Don’t worry honey, ” she said. “Sometimes our spirits quicken like butterflies leaving a cocoon. We know there is more life for us to live but our spirits fear we want get to it all in time.” I guess as children we can’t really understand that there may not be enough time, that something can change every single moment of our life. That we may have to fight to get out of that cocoon and set our spirits free to live.
I hate going to doctors and on this day as I hung up the phone I was thinking how I really didn’t have the time to waste going to the doctor or sitting in an office to get a mammogram. I was pretty good about going; I have a family history of breast cancer, but you know how it is, it will never happen to you. I made the appointment anyway; begrudging the time I could be doing something else. In a few weeks I found myself sitting there in my little paper waist shirt waiting for someone to come into the room and tell me all the x-rays and ultrasounds were good.
Then I had that feeling come over me again; that feeling I had in childhood when my Great Grandmother would ask me if someone was walking over my grave. You know you never expect anything to be wrong, or maybe we don’t want to think it is possible but life can change in an instant.
The doctor walked into the office and before she could say a word, I could feel the tears running down my cheeks. I shook my head as if I could make it all go away but I couldn’t. It was real and I had breast cancer. It was only a few days until I was in the hospital undergoing a double mastectomy.
At that time I believed that my world and my life was changing and I no longer had any control of anything. I cried, I grieved, I asked why me. Okay, why not me. As a child of the Goddess I believe that everything we are given in life it to teach us, but it is also given to us that we, perhaps in some small way might help others if and when they face the same kinds of struggles.
I have to tell you there is nothing that will slap you back into reality as fast as looking down to where you once had breasts and finding none. In this moment you can either give into grief or find the guiding power to heal and survive.
I could hear my Great Grandmother speaking to me just like she did as a child on that old porch swing. I could feel that my spirit was worried I wouldn’t have enough time to do all I wanted to do in my life. I was going to have to fight for and it and I did.
No one wants to have this terrible disease. But I did, and as breast cancer survivors will tell you, I always will have it; like some monster hidden behind a tree that might jump out and scare the crap out of you anytime and at any moment. It’s there and not only there for me, but my daughter and my granddaughter.
Every person in America knows or will know someone with breast cancer in his or her lifetime. Sadly it could also be you. My faith in the Goddess and Her ability to heal me from my fears and this disease, I believe, was one of the greatest gifts of recovery I had.
My gift in return is to help others be aware.
Each April, we have the ‘Breast Cancer Walk for the Cure’ events in many areas of the country. These walks are extremely important to me and the hundreds of thousands of us all over the world that are breast cancer survivors. For that reason I have shared here my story as a Witch with breast cancer.
Breast cancer is a killer. It has no respect for human life, it doesn’t care what your income might be and it could care less where you live. Breast cancer is disease that can strike anyone at anytime, men and women. It is my hope that in sharing these few words of my survival of breast cancer, it will somehow help others to be aware.
Breast Cancer Facts:
- Over 40, 000 people will die of breast cancer this year in the United States.
- One out of every seven women will develop breast cancer
- A woman’s chances of developing breast cancer increases with age: (I was in my 40‘s)
- Approximately 200, 000 cases of breast cancer will occur in the United States this year.
Traits common to breast cancer survivors:
- They are well informed and take control of their treatment
- They know cancer is just a symptom and make life-style changes
- And most importantly, they have a positive attitude.
I share my story and ask that everyone become a part of every woman’s, and yes man’s, survival by supporting and doing what you can do to fight this killer of life.
Let us be the cure.
Blessings and have a magickal pink day.
Copyright © 03252010 Reposted with permission of the author
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